About loneliness.

Oi pra quem lê isso aqui \o/ Hoje eu precisava desabafar, por isso escrevi esse texto aí embaixo. E seguindo o conselho da prof. Lia (muito efetivo, por sinal), decidi desabafar em inglês. O texto deve estar cheio de erros xD Mas mesmo assim, here we go.


Things started falling apart when I realized how lonely I've been. I trully don't have the slithest idea about how it happened. I'm a normal girl and I do have a good heart. I was always the type of person that loved to be alone, watching the people passing by while I was listening to some music or reading a book. I may be most of the time shy, specially when I want to make some friends or when I'm with somebody else's friends, but despite of the shyness, I usually smile to look nice as an invitation to start some kind of friendship with me. And, also, I think that I'm a good friend, dude. I try not to demonstrate all the internal problems I've been living, I try just to give'em my nice part. Not in a way that people think that I'm perfect and have no negative side, but in a way that can be pleasant to them and also make the ones that are with me feel good, you know? I used to think I was very good at friendships, and maybe I am. But here's the question: how many friends do I have? I'm not talking about those that we see only in one place, like school, or work.. I'm talking about how many friends do I have that I can call whenever I feel lonely, or send a text message, or even pass in his/her house when I'm longing for some company. Damn it, I felt so sad when I realized that I only have one friend. And by the way, even more sad when I saw that she had other friends and literally forgot about me. But whatever, that's past and was already solved (I hope so). I'd like so much to be more.. I don't know, sociable, maybe. I learned the worst way possible, but well, being happy is completely worthless if you have no one to share it. There's nothing worse than be at home longing to go out but you just can't for the simple fact that you have no one to invite, and that no one invites you either. I can be happy in my personal life (which, thanks God, it's kinda "working" in the past months) and can be even more happy for the good relationship with my relatives (something really hard to accomplish), but being alone on the happiness hour is worse than being sad and crying on a friend's shoulder. Possibly, when you finish to read this text, you will think I'm one of the most miserable human being for this. Or maybe you'll realize that you and me are on the same side of the coin. Whatever, as I was saying in the begginning of the text, I don't know how the hell it happened, but well, I have no one.